How to start praying with your spouse without feeling awkward.
On this page
A place to begin
Begin with an invitation, not a test: ask whether your spouse would like to try a brief prayer together. Each person can share one concern or gratitude, and one can offer a few simple sentences. Keep it voluntary and avoid correcting each other’s words. Awkwardness does not mean the attempt has failed.
You do not need elaborate words or a particular posture to begin sincerely.
You can discuss errands and schedules easily, but saying a prayer together feels unexpectedly vulnerable. Perhaps one of you is comfortable speaking about faith while the other worries about sounding wrong. You may both want connection and still avoid starting.
A small shared practice can make room for that vulnerability. It does not need to resemble a public prayer or prove which spouse is more spiritually mature.
Invite a practice you both understand.
Ask at a calm time, “Would you like to try a short prayer together this week?” Discuss what would feel comfortable: reading a written prayer, sitting quietly while one person speaks, or taking turns with a single sentence.
Agree that either person can pass without being shamed. If your spouse does not share your faith or does not want to participate, respect that answer. You can pray privately and continue talking honestly about your different beliefs without manufacturing shared devotion.
Keep prayer separate from indirect criticism.
Before praying, ask what your spouse would like you to include rather than assuming you know. Use words that bring the concern to God, not a prayer-shaped lecture about how your spouse needs to change.
If there is unresolved conflict, discuss it directly and safely rather than using prayer to end the conversation prematurely. A shared prayer can accompany repair, but it cannot replace an apology, changed behavior, or outside support when the relationship is harmful.
Scripture in context
Open a passage to read the Bible text and its surrounding chapter here on AskJesus. The notes below explain how it connects with this question; they are reflections, not Bible quotations.
Philippians 4:6-7
Paul brings requests and thanksgiving together in prayer. A couple can begin with one concern and one gratitude without elaborate wording.
Romans 12:10
The call to honor one another supports listening and mutual consideration, including different levels of comfort with shared prayer.
Colossians 4:2
The encouragement to continue in prayer with attention and thanksgiving supports a modest ongoing practice rather than a one-time performance.
What to do with this today
Listen without correcting the words or using prayer to deliver an indirect criticism.
Ask without pressure.
Offer a small invitation at a calm time and allow an honest yes, no, or not yet.
Choose a comfortable form.
Try a written prayer, quiet listening, or a sentence each. Hand-holding and speaking aloud are optional.
Pray for a shared concern.
Ask what your spouse wants included. Keep the prayer kind, brief, and free of indirect correction.
Check how it felt.
Thank each other and discuss what would make the next attempt more comfortable. Do not judge the result by emotion.
Pause & pray
A prayer for this moment
Father, help us make room for honest prayer without pressure or performance. Teach us to listen to each other, honor different comfort levels, and bring our concerns to you with kindness. Keep our words sincere and guide the practical care our relationship needs. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
A question to sit with
What small, voluntary invitation could make shared prayer feel safer for both of you?
Common questions
What if only one of us wants to speak?
That can be a workable starting point if both agree. One may listen or read a written prayer. Speaking equally is not a requirement for a sincere shared moment.
What if my spouse says no?
Respect the answer and ask whether they would like to explain, without pressing. You can continue your own prayer life without making participation a condition of affection.
A shared moment belongs alongside the practical kindness and honest conversation your relationship needs.