How to pray for someone you do not like.
On this page
A place to begin
Start by telling God the truth about your resentment. Ask for the person’s genuine good, for truth and accountability where needed, and for help responding without cruelty. You do not have to manufacture warm feelings or become close to them. Praying for someone can coexist with clear boundaries and appropriate protection.
Name the specific grievance instead of turning irritation into a verdict on the whole person.
Their name appears on your phone, or you see them coming toward you, and your shoulders tighten. You may have a specific grievance, or simply find their behavior irritating. The instruction to love others can feel far removed from what you actually want to say.
Prayer gives you somewhere to bring that tension without pretending it is already resolved. You can begin with honesty and choose a response that does not depend on liking them.
Tell the truth without rehearsing a prosecution.
Name the behavior that troubles you and how it affects you. “I feel angry when they interrupt me” is more useful than repeating a sweeping verdict about everything wrong with them. Specificity can help you distinguish a real boundary issue from irritation or assumption.
Then ask what good would mean in this situation. It may include humility, truthful understanding, changed behavior, or support for a difficulty you know they face. Do not use prayer as a disguised speech about how God should punish them for annoying you.
Goodwill does not erase discernment.
You can seek someone’s good while limiting contact, addressing a problem directly, or refusing a harmful request. Love is not the same as giving everyone unrestricted access to your time, trust, or private life.
If the person has harmed or threatened you, prioritize safety and appropriate support. You do not need to contact them to prove that your prayer is genuine. In an ordinary disagreement, a small fair action may be enough: share information accurately, stop a cruel joke, or state a limit without contempt.
Scripture in context
Open a passage to read the Bible text and its surrounding chapter here on AskJesus. The notes below explain how it connects with this question; they are reflections, not Bible quotations.
Matthew 5:44-45
Jesus calls his followers to love enemies and pray for those who mistreat them, challenging retaliation rather than requiring manufactured affection.
Romans 12:17-21
Paul connects refusing revenge with doing good. The passage does not require pretending that wrongdoing is harmless.
Luke 6:31
The instruction to treat others as you would wish to be treated offers a practical test for your next response.
What to do with this today
Seeking someone’s good can include a clear conversation about what needs to change.
Name the actual grievance.
Distinguish what happened from assumptions about the person’s motives or whole character.
Ask for genuine good.
Pray for truth, changed behavior where needed, and help that would benefit them without excusing harm.
Choose a necessary boundary.
Decide what contact or cooperation is safe and appropriate. Prayer does not require removing that limit.
Practice one fair response.
Avoid gossip, revenge, or a deliberately cutting remark. Choose a small action you can offer sincerely.
Pause & pray
A prayer for this moment
Father, you know the resentment I am carrying toward this person. Help me tell the truth without cruelty, seek their genuine good, and let go of the wish to hurt them back. Give me wisdom for boundaries and courage to act fairly even while my feelings remain difficult. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
A question to sit with
What would genuine goodwill look like here without denying the problem or abandoning a needed boundary?
Common questions
Is my prayer dishonest if I still dislike them afterward?
Not necessarily. You can sincerely ask for help and choose fair conduct while your feelings take time to change. Do not promise yourself an instant emotional result.
Must I tell the person I am praying for them?
No. You can pray privately. Announcing it during a conflict can sound patronizing, and contact may not be appropriate in an unsafe relationship.
A small kindness does not require instant friendship or the removal of necessary limits.